Today, I want to discuss a question that was sent to me a couple of weeks ago by a reader. Shortly after the launch of this site, she read all of the information and seemed excited about the possibility of being able to take control of her financial situation, but couldn’t see how it could be done at this point in her life.
From a windfall of circumstances which included marriage, a child, lifestyle choices and poor career decisions, she and her husband have found themselves in a place where they pay more in bills than they make on a monthly basis. Her email to me ended with the following statement:
“I think the envelope method is great, in theory, but what if there is nothing but air to put in it.”
This readers concerns are not unique. Her concerns are more common than we realize. It’s very easy to manage money when you are single, but when mixing marriage and children, the whole equation shifts and changes. You are now responsible and accountable to and for other people.
The answer to her question is not an easy one. Firstly, I don’t know all the details of her financial situation. Secondly, it’s going to take the efforts of both she and her husband to work EXTREMELY hard to get through this.
I’m embarrassed to say that after a few emails back and forth, I gave her quick advice. The advice was to create a second source of income and/or sell some things. I thought that our emails would continue and I would offer additional advice once I got into more of the particulars, but she didn’t respond to that final e-mail. This has left me concerned and wondering if she has been able to find clarity and hope in her financial matters.
So, this is my second attempt to connect with her and offer a light at the end of the tunnel. My desire is that she and her husband start working now to achieve financial peace. The initial advice I gave really does not change, but I’ll be more detailed and offer other suggestions as well. They are listed below…
- Create a budget. I feel like a broken record with this point, but a budget is the cornerstone of creating financial peace. You have to be able to see where your money is going and eliminate wasteful areas. Once the budget is created, stick to it.
- Stop using all forms of credit and create an envelope system using cash. This will be for incidentals such as gas, eating out (if at all), grocery shopping, etc.
- Be creative with finding a 2nd source of income. I do understand that we lead very busy lives, but in order to create this freedom it’s going to take some sacrifice for a short period of time. I repeat, not forever, just a short period of time. Look online and find legitimate and realistic suggestions for creating additional income. From her e-mail, I can assume that she and her husband are well educated. Some possibilities to consider would be tutoring, teaching online courses, etc. It may not be possible for both of them to work extra hours because of their child, but the extra hours/income of one can help to start the process.
- Consider selling some things through EBay or local consignment shops. Both of these types of stores exist all over the country now. Call around locally to see how the process works and if this can be a match for your needs.
- Make some lifestyle adjustments. Are there any extras that you all can do without at this time to minimize costs? No amount is too small.
- Take the deer by the horns. What does this mean? I’m not sure if your husband is willing to become financially stable. Take the lead, create a plan and suggest using the plan (with excitement). Let him know that you are concerned as well as frustrated about the present financial state. Then, show him your motivation to change it. Believe it or not, excitement and motivation are contagious. Showing him how one sample plan can work may be enough to get him inspired
. The two of you working together can accomplish all of your goals.
I know that this information is not the microwave get out of debt quick solution, but it does offer a starting place. If you can just get the process started, it’ll be a lot easier to continue.
Just remember that life is a journey and we all have our lessons to learn. I’m cheering for you and hope that you will find some conciliation in the recommendations I have made. Have faith and refuse to believe that your situation is permanent, because it isn’t. I’m reminded of a quote by Napoleon Hill, “Whatever the mind can believe and conceive, it can achieve.” Once you both decide that becoming debt free is something you want to do, your minds will become clear and open to “how” you can achieve it.
I wish you guys the best!!! If you are reading this, please feel free to contact me again. I promise I will do everything I can to offer better solutions!
| Wishing you Success, |
| Patrenia Donald-Spears |
| I know that we don’t know many details of this readers life, but from the information provided is there any additional advice you can offer her? Please leave your comments below… |
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Great advice. Setting up a budget, and using an envelope system really helped us to get our finances in order – forcing us to take a look at the many areas that we were overspending.
Sometimes you can’t squeeze water from a rock though. If you’re not making enough income, like you say, you need to find new sources of income. Whether it’s selling things online, starting a blog, filling out surveys online, mowing lawns, cleaning houses – whatever – you may need to work temporarily to fill in the gaps. That isn’t a long term solution however. Long term you may need to find a new job that pays better, or go back to school and get a degree (of course saving up and paying cash for your education).
It’s funny how preparing a budget makes the lightbulb go off. It is a great plan which helps one to see if they have a negative or positive cash flow. Great ideas for the 2nd source of income. Thanks.
Great advice Patrenia. From a budget to making sacrifices — it’s all worth it for your reader to get out of this situation!
Thanks for the comment Lisa! Welcome..
I am glad I came across your blog.
Great steps of advice! When creating a budget you realize where money is falling through the holes. Most common – eating out. This is a big spender for most people. Maybe grocery shopping is another area – start buying generic or plan your meals/shopping around the sales ads (I’ve become really good at that one).
If you are still finding nothing to put in the envelopes -then it’s a great time to cut back and sell or pick up a part time job. I’m in the process of selling our stuff to get this debt paid off! I’m so tired of it.
One needs to remembers that the journey starts out small and slow, but if you keep working at it the momentum grows and you’ll be hitting financial security in no time!
Nice to meet you! Yes, you are correct. A way has to be found to put some dynamite to the log jam.
Congratulations on your bold move to sell some of your stuff. That takes true courage. Keep us updated on your progress…I love to hear the victories of others! I wish you the best!
Patrenia,
All great advice!
I would include placing phone calls to the creditors and explaining the financial hardships. Some may be willing work with her by lowering interest rates and/or lowering minimum payments (usually by lengthening the term of loan…not a great solution, but it will free up funds for the time being when all else is exhausted)
Kita
Great idea Lakita! When all else fails all they can say is “No”, but it’s at least worth a try.