Social Pressure and Spending

by Patrenia on April 6, 2010 · 10 comments

This is part two of a series I’ve entitled, Spending Smart.  These ideas focus on us being more aware of our dollars and cents as we learn to take better control.  It’s a continuous process of learning and growing.

You can find part one here – Money and Spending.

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help What’s crazy about life is that it is very…shall I say adventurous!  There is always some type of cause and effect action.

Let’s see how it works.  You make an agreement with yourself that nothing will deter you from taking control of your money.  You do well for a short while, but then something happens…

The latest and greatest gadget rolls out, you and a friend go window shopping, you see the shiny new ride a co-worker just purchased, or your cousin just built a 4,000 square foot home and it is beautifully furnished, etc.

The effect?  You want to give in.  Lee Eisenberg explains it best:

Where’s the peer pressure to live small today so that we might live comfortably tomorrow?  Where’s the celebrity spokesperson to tell us how way cool it is to eschew the little luxuries of the moment in order to afford a long-term-care policy? Where’s the slick marketing campaign that can convince us to forgo a year’s worth of hair, makeup, and Botox injections to the forehead in order to pay an accountant to tell us we spend too much money and we’d be advised to downsize?  And besides, none of our friends or neighbors are doing these things.  Without a comparative yardstick, or the peer pressure to keep up with the Joneses’ retirement planning, we are not motivated to save.  So we keep up with the Joneses in the usual way:  consumption.  An iPod for an iPod. — from, The Number

You thought you left peer pressure in high school?  Not at all.  It follows us into adulthood.  We have to learn to control the external and internal pressures.  Oh, you thought you left learning in high school and college, too?  :-)

My advice?  Make careful decisions.

How do you handle social pressure and spending?

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Nell April 6, 2010 at 3:37 pm

I hate the Joneses’ but they keep following me everywhere! Social pressure to spend has plagued me for a long time now. I would like to say that I don’t let it get to me, but I do fall victim to it sometimes (except for this iFad craze). One way I have handled it is with patience. If I see something that I want, I just tell myself to wait until it goes on sale, and many times I just completely forget about it anyway.

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2 Patrenia April 6, 2010 at 5:10 pm

The Jones’ are following you? I thought it was the other way around. :-) I used to be a victim too, but I’ve learned to be in control of that little devil that whispers horrible thoughts into my ears by also being patient. Thanks Nell!

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3 Ms. Freeman April 7, 2010 at 9:42 pm

I can definitely say I didn’t handle it very well today. Being unemployed I am on a “fix income” and frivolous spending should be the last thing I need to be doing. I am budgeted to the penny and pushing leftovers to savings.

BUT my sister-in-law called this morning, she just had my niece three months ago and wanted to get out of the house, go to the mall for a walk and people watch. I ended up buying new fragrances from Bath&Body Works and a new pair of “club-ing” shoes.

First of all my club-ing days have long since been over and two I didn’t need six fruity scents of body spray. But, I gave into her need to get out and have a fun girls day.

Ugh!

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4 Patrenia April 8, 2010 at 5:23 pm

It was only supposed to be a walk and people watch, Ms. Freeman. You have got to guard those wandering eyes. :-)

p.s. You can always return that stuff, right? ;-)

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5 Susan Liddy April 9, 2010 at 7:19 pm

Wow, Patrenia, this is really inspiring me.
I have been making some summer plans recently and have felt a bit of pressure to participate in a couple activities that are actually not comfortably within my budget.
It’s interesting that I don’t think I even noticed this until I read your article.

I’m going to consider how this may be playing a role in my spending habits… This could even extend to accepting too many dinner out invitations too…

:) Susan

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6 Patrenia April 10, 2010 at 12:12 pm

Yes, social pressure kind of creeps up on you if you aren’t aware. Not sure how you feel, but when I turn down invitations it gives me a sense of “missing out”. The way I reverse it is to think about the greater good of my goals which enables me to release the negative feelings. It’s definitely a process. Thank you so much Susan!

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7 Ken April 11, 2010 at 6:14 am

I usually ask myself, “Does this involve payments?” and “Is the one we have broken?”

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8 Patrenia April 12, 2010 at 9:06 am

It can be very difficult to keep an older version of an item when a newer version is being offered, but the key is to ask yourself the questions you’ve stated above. Yes, it’s hard, but…. :-)

Thanks Ken.

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9 Torrey April 14, 2010 at 8:11 pm

My wife and I are friends with a couple that live big. Big house, drive Mercedes and an Escalade, take expensive trip….the whole 9 yards! They always laughed at us because we were pretty frugal with our money. We live in a modest home, drive paid off cars, etc.

One day, the husband asked me to teach him how to budget because they were basically broke.

Moral of story – You never know how your personal finance actions will influence your peers. Stay strong.

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10 Patrenia April 15, 2010 at 5:41 pm

You know what Torrey, I love to see others have nice things and I’m sure you are your wife feel the same. I just think that life would be a lot smoother without the added stress to pay for all of it when it’s artificial. Thank you so much for sharing this story and I’m sure many will learn from it.

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